Kuch aise hi..

My first attempt at vernacular poetry..

Tanhai ab meethi lagne lagi hai,
aur kadvi lag rahi hai logon ka saath.
Kuch aise hi hain aaj ke haalaath.

Dua karne se ab darta hai dil.
Inhi duaon se kayeen hue aabaad.
Inhi duaon se khud hue barbaad.

Bade ajeeb se din katthe hain hamaare.
Din ya raat, hosh ka koi khabar nahi.
Kya karein? Hothon ko sharaab jo paak lagne lagi.

Mann karta hai unse do lafz kahein.
Javaab sunne ke liye par ab dil nahi betaab.
Ab to hothon par bhi rakha hai hamne naqaab.

Writer's block and Urdu poetry

Two years since I last posted. Quite a long time to suffer from writer's block!! I'd rather not write than write just to fill up the pages of my blog. So what prompted me to write now..is what brings us to the second part of the title to this post..Urdu poetry.


Disclaimer: If you don't know Hindi, you will not be able to appreciate the poetry I have shared.

I was reading a few couplets somewhere and I realised the power of Urdu poetry. It's amazing how two lines could convey so much more you could write a book on it. I haven't read such potent stuff in a long time and it's hard to recall if I ever read something like that in English.

My father studied in an Urdu medium school till Grade 6. I cannot even begin to imagine how I would have fared studying in an Urdu medium school, then a Marathi medium school and then doing an under-grad in Engineering in English! But my father did that and it somehow makes me envious of him. He grew up studying the language and learnt to appreciate it's intricacies. Imagine being exposed to Ghalib, Faiz, Rumi and Iqbal. Such rich prose and poetry.

At a lot of functions, I've noticed that most of our family friends have this knack of saying the right couplets at the right times. Almost always, the lines are followed by a slurry of "Wah Wah"s . Try as I may, I never remember nice lines from poems or novels. The only one at the tip of my tongue is this one by Ghalib:

"Masjid mein baithkar peene de ghalib
Varna aisi jagah bata jahaan khuda na ho."
(Let me drink in the mosque Ghalib,
or else tell me of a place where God does not exist.)

This is one of the easier couplets to understand. And again something I could probably devote a whole post to. What amazes me is how some of the couplets convey a feeling of extreme happiness, love, devotion or pain and disillusionment. Take for instance, the following lines by Ghalib:

'Mohabbat karnevaale kam na honge,
Teri mehfil mein lekin ham na honge.

Zamaane bhar ka gham ya ek tera gham.
Yeh gham hoga to kitne gham na honge.'

(You may have many admirers,
But I will not join them in your company.
It's either all of life's misfortunes or the misfortune of not having you.
If I choose the latter, then I wouldn't have so many(life's) misfortunes.)

Most Urdu poetry you read will probably go over your head unless you speak Urdu or have studied it. I don't understand most of it either but the shear beauty of it is enough for me to start learning it. Urdu shouldn't be an alien language for those who know Hindi which I think is a good starting point. I'll probably post a few couplets from time to time.

There's a whole body of literature out there that is too beautiful to be missed.

A yearning

In the blanket of anonymity,
I wander far and wide.
Helter skelter i foray;
Destination, i can't decide.

My mind is empty.
My heart feels shallow.
Uncertain steps
on paths made hallow,
by many a traveller,
before me, they set,
on a similar journey,
unexpected to expect.

Where to I cannot say
from these fields of abandon.
Let the winds lead my way.
Let my deeds come undone.

Let this journey erase all past,
pain hath lain my heart bare.
Towards a new day i yearn to look
let only joy dwell in air.

With each step bring me close
to that which I couldn't possess.
With each breath let me feel
the warmth of love, a loving caress.

Take me away into the midst
of peace of mind, into sweet mist,
in constant revelry and unbound freedom
towards high seas and sand sun-kissed.

Do I ask too much
or am I not content?
Which of the two pray
worry me unto no end?

Is it not fair
to ask a little out of life?
Is it not right to see fruits of unending strife?
Is it not believed
in His presence, His peace,
nothing goes unheard
of joined hands and bent knees?

......

She had gone..
life wasn't the same.
I tried to move on,
and hide the pain.

She missed me she said.
And the same I felt.
Lovely words of hers could
make any one's heart melt.

And then a cruel turn,
fate decided to take.
Misery and heartburn.
A smile gone fake.

He woke up one day,
to realize his fate.
"She wasn't true."
"She never was mate!"

Hoping against hope,
that what he heard was a lie,
he probed a little further,
till he let out a sigh.

One day she was perfect.
The next she was framed.
On the third, she was doubted,
And on the fourth, she was blamed.

I sometimes walk by,
the place where we kissed.
My mind imagining,
a love that we missed.

A love undying,
Of promises promised.
A shattered soul leaving
only hurt to be reminisced.

silence (countable and uncountable, plural: silences)

1. The lack of any sound. (When the motor stopped, the silence was almost deafening.)
2. Form of meditative worship practiced by the Society of Friends (Quakers). "Meeting for worship." (During silence a message came to me that there was that of God in every person.)
3. The action of refraining from speaking.
"You have the right to silence" said the police officer.

(courtesy www.wiktionary.org)

funny...it can be comforting one time and intimidating the next.
it can be the loudest thing you hear one moment, no trace of it the next.
Iv always found a mystery associated with it's effects. Sometimes its depressing and sometimes u can derive extraordinary peace of mind from it. And it can be awkward between two people, while being perfectly normal between two others. It could mean a no to someone, or a yes to someone else. Or it could be just filled with guilt.
The interpretations are so many....yet its true meaning remains elusive.
Even after looking it up in the dictionary, im still not satisfied with what i got...the search continues....

Dilemma :(

This is something that i think only bloggers would relate to and its gotta do with deciding what ur next post is gonna be on!!!
yes...iv been thinking for a while on the topic of a post and so far nothing's struck me yet...i thought id go through a few blogs here and there for some inspiration but alas..i got none!!!so, for the lack of having anything else to write about, i thought id share my blog surfing experiences.


type1: There are those bloggers who've made their lives an open diary. They write about useless and mundane things (both to them and the outside world) from why their milkman didnt turn up in the morning to how their underwears all turned pink (seriously!!) Ms. LisaAnne Toe-mi is one such blogger. She claims that writing is therapeutic. I beg to differ. One look at her blog and u feel ther-a-puke-it.


type2: Then there are those who draw inspiration from the most unlikely things in this world. iv read posts with topics ranging from ten different ways of eating dosas to the ambiguity of the temperature of water in hot and cold taps. A few of them are really hilarious (Mr.Dee Day) whilst the rest simply fall flat (Mr. Pee Day).


type3: Mr. O. Pin Yen's blog was of a different kind from the rest. He had a say on every issue he could lay his eyes on in the newspaper. Some of them did seem relevant and justified. The rest seemed to be views on topics he forced himself to think about. (Eg: Latest studies suggest chickens meaowed in the eighth century).


type4: Mr. Sigh Yen's (brother of Mr. O. Pin Yen) blog was filled with entries on discoveries and new technologies. His toothy smile and large black framed glasses adorned the top of every page lending a geeky aura to what he thought was his charming persona. His profile too didnt seem connected to the theme of his blog. Had some thing like "please male if u female...."..whatever...


type5: Some people's blog are full of poems and stories. Some stories too long to stay awake through, And lots of poems meaning absolutely nothing. The funniest thing i notice in people's poems are lines that are used only to achieve rhythm and rhyme and which do not relate to the context of the poem itself. Classic Example #108763547:

"i look to the sun, setting in the west
in it's full glory, in it's sunday best"
- an excerpt from Ms. I. Kahn Tright's blog


type6: These contain jus one line "Testing Testing: This is my first post."duh!


These are just a few examples from the millions that are lurking out there. And im sure if i snoop around long enough ill have more to add, which brings me to the last (for now) type:


type7: These blogs have varied content. No central theme as such. And the authors seem a bit mentally unbalanced. They have harsh words for other people's blogs not knowing that their own could be a victim of somebody else's wrath!! They are ruthless with people who leave behind comments that are not full of praise or admiration or appreciation for their posts. Infact they are known to hunt these people down erasing all traces of their victim's existence. You ought to be cautious while trudging on their territory. So be warned. There was one such blog that looked extremely sinister. Dont remember the name of it clearly. I think it had to something with a far (mumble mumble)...milky...(mumble mumble)..no..no..far..away...far away galaxy.....(mumble mumble)...

What would you do?

Have u ever come across a situation when uv had to unwillingly hurt someone. When you know that what u were gonna say or already did would cause pain but there was no other alternative but to come clean???
You find urself in a state of confusion. You think back and regret your act even though u were so sure u had to do it. And in that moment u probably feel smaller than never before. Low self-esteem, self-blame, depression, anxiety...the whole i-hate-myself-for-what-i-did wheel sets in. And u feel scared to talk to or face your 'victim' ever again?

There's a reason why iv put 'victim' in quotes. And that's cos in such cases, the idea is to protect the other person from becoming one in the first place. Sadly, in the gamut of emotions that ensue, that isnt understood. The only justification for knowingly hurting someone is so that it doesnt get worse later.
Its a tricky situation. One in which, neither party can be blamed. One feels used, the other gets abused....
Life aint jus a bed of roses, they come with the thorns as well. But its better to get pricked and heal faster than to get cut and suffer in wut seems eternal pain.